Sarah, thank you and thank you for calling out the lovely lines in the restack - those came up from within me all at once. I didn't think of those words, they came through me. I love it when that happens as I suspect you do too. :)
What a beautiful reflection. Thank you for sharing this James. Thank you for shedding light on her essence - love and care - and the importance of the 'little moments' rather than the highlights.
My condolences and best wishes for you and your family.
Frederik, Thank you for taking the time to comment. We are all at peace, she led a wonderful like. Someone wrote me back and said that Dr. Suess wrote, "Don't cry because it ended, smile because it happened. I loved that reflection on a life well lived. And I'm thankful for my mom's way of being with those little moments. She taught me without "teaching" me.
As I see you...and you know I *see* people differently than most as I have the ability to see auras. While I never met your mother, I can see an echo of her energy through this picture of her. What I see is the same silver/gold gossamer thread that I see in you. Perhaps that is the color of caring that you write about.
Teri, such a beautiful image. Thank you for contributing a perspective so meaningful itself, and so colorful. I won't forget that. I'm grateful for you and thank you for your comments on the rough draft of the piece several days ago. 💖
James, what a beautiful and moving dedication to your mother. I’m often astounded by how many quiet angels surround us each day—people who carry out the smallest and humblest acts with the greatest love. Your words capture that truth so powerfully. And ultimately, what better legacy could there be?
Rachel, Thank you for taking the time to comment and to offer the perfect metaphor - quiet angels surrounding us. It's funny, I carry around hundreds of little missives said by many people inside of me, and it wasn't until my mom passed that I connected Mother Theresa's words to my mom. Yet she was the perfect embodiment of them.
This piece is certainly a gift to your mom and all who knew her James, a wise and profound seeing of the human who was your mother, but it's also a tutorial and inspiration for those of us who still have our parents about how to appreciate the time we have that remains with them. The parts that detail the specifics of caring moved me most. I'm sure there is no way I could possibly enumerate all the forms of caring and noticing that were exacted by my parents for my benefit from times I can't consciously recall, but when I feel the urge to care for others I know it's the caring I received that is reaching right through to further generations. As they say, it's impossible to repay the debt we owe our parents, but caring forward is probably the closest we can come.
Rick, I so appreciate you. You embody Mother Theresa AND Muhammad Ali, in that you do small things AND great things, with great love.
"a tutorial and inspiration for those of us who still have our parents about how to appreciate the time we have that remains with them." Thank you for calling this out. Because of my mom's slow glideslope with dementia over about fifteen years, we valued, and appreciated time with her, creating even more of it early on. And that's what we're all most grateful for.
And "carrying it forward is the closest we come" is the PERFECT embodiment of love and caring and honor for what our parents gave for us and did for us.
Thank you for taking the time to comment and being a hallmark of caring to soooo many, including your mom, and your family.
My pleasure and thank you James. As an additional note about your essay, I was struck by the skill and competency of your writing, especially knowing you've not had a lot of time as of late to exercise the word-craft habit. There's a natural authenticity, creative spark, and refreshing uniqueness to your voice that is a pleasure to experience James, and for the sake of one and all, I hope you continue to find opportunities to express it.
Beautiful message that captures well a beautiful woman. Thanks for writing this and sharing it with us. I felt like I really got to know your Mom in just a five minute read. Much better than a standard obituary. This also helps explain you and the caring person and servant leader you are - your Mom and Dad surely live on in you and your family.
Oh Rich...where to start. I apprecaite the compliment and when I think of the servant leaders who inspire me, the first person I think of after my parents is you. The life we live is the lesson we teach and you personify that in loving and caring ways. I'm grateful we both care for each other as well as many many others. Big hugs to you and G.
You wrote this with so much care, James. I pray that your mom is happy where she is. I think it's beautiful she can still touch lives like mine despite the distance, despite the timeline.
Linart - thank you. Mom was a heart toucher and I'm so glad she has reached around the world to touch yours, and that you took the time to tell me. I'm deeply appreciative.
Sorry to read of your mother's death, James. Thanks for sharing your tribute to her here. "Mom wasn’t her milestones. She was underneath them. She was between them." That's how I felt when my own mother died. At her funeral we read poetry, short anecdotes, shared memories of all the ways she had cared for people and for animals, all creatures great and small.
HI Wendy, thank you for taking the time to comment. I love reading how your mom cared for people and animals. My mom and dad took a lot of trips in their retirement. When they'd return from their adventures, dad would always talk about what they saw - and mom would always talk about the people they met. She couldn't "care" for a statue, she could "care" for a person. So she sought them out. Again, thank you.
James- What a beautiful tribute. You have, once again, shared wisdom with us in a meaningful, touching way. May your memories of your mother continue to bring you warmth in the years to come.
Jeff, thank you and thank you for taking the time to comment. My memories of her will indeed bring me warmth and I'm glad they can bring warmth to others as well. She gave us a great template from which to live life.
I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your mother. This is such a poignant, loving tribute that I feel like I’ve known her for a long while.
In my mind, I’m giving her a big hug and saying thank you for taking care of your family so well and loving you all so deeply. She helped shape a truly kind and loving son in you. I can’t imagine she could be any more proud of you.
Deepest condolences. Thank you for sharing these stories. I feel honored to have witnessed these glimpses into her life and yours.
You asked for stories of our loved ones. My life changed the instant my mom took her last breath. It was one way before, and different ever since. It’s been over 7 years and I’m still adjusting.
I hope you’re surrounded by loved ones and that you give yourself the time and space you need to grieve. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” This is universal. It transcends any theology. You also will be comforted.
Oh, Kathy, how wonderful to see and hear from you. This: "It was one way before, and different ever since" says it all - and could be the title of a piece from you someday 😊
Yes, that's the way it is. I've thought of you many times recently as I have been - for several months now, working on the piece about my father. I've been writing and rewriting, and scrapping and putting it back together for months. A few weeks back I asked myself, why has this not come together yet? And then my mom passed and I had my answer - it wasn't time in the world for it yet - it would have been the second piece I'd written on dad, and none on my mom yet. She needed to be honored first. I so love discovering why things are the way they are when my logic and ego doesn't understand in the moment. ❤
I intend to get reconnected in the community soon - and thank you for always being there for me. I'm deeply grateful.
The more I get to know you the more it makes sense where your heart of gold comes from. I’m grateful for Brada and the lessons she continues to teach us all through you.
Jessica, Thank you for the compliment. I'm honored. As one of the other commenters (Rick) said, the best tribute to our parents is to continue it forward into the next generation. You are a role model for this as well. ❤. (Thank you also for your eyeballs and heart on the piece before I published it. ☺
Scott, What a lovely tribute to your mom. I might say, as a wanna be writer, your tribute captured the depth and eloquence with far fewer words which is a mighty challenge!
"I just want everyone to be loved." "and had enough love for everyone" So beautiful and touching. It wouldn't surprise me if our mom's have already found each other for morning coffee or a glass of wine. They are two peas in a pod for sure!
Jack, Great to see you name pop up in my inbox. Thank you for taking the time to tell me how my mom, and my words made you feel. That's the reason why I write. Much much love back to you. ❤
Zoe, Thank you, I'm honored. Both my parents wore Caring as their crown, and I'm so fortunate to have had it modeled to me for 50+ years, not just as a child. My opportunity is to wear the crown and pass it along to others. 💖
I'm grateful we are in each others lives, and caring for each other.
A beautiful tribute. And she radiates in that photo.
Sarah, thank you and thank you for calling out the lovely lines in the restack - those came up from within me all at once. I didn't think of those words, they came through me. I love it when that happens as I suspect you do too. :)
A beautiful insight worth repeating! And yes, I do know that feeling of messages coming through and you’re so right, it feels magical. 🌈🦋
What a beautiful reflection. Thank you for sharing this James. Thank you for shedding light on her essence - love and care - and the importance of the 'little moments' rather than the highlights.
My condolences and best wishes for you and your family.
Frederik, Thank you for taking the time to comment. We are all at peace, she led a wonderful like. Someone wrote me back and said that Dr. Suess wrote, "Don't cry because it ended, smile because it happened. I loved that reflection on a life well lived. And I'm thankful for my mom's way of being with those little moments. She taught me without "teaching" me.
I look forward to seeing you soon.
You say caring was Mom's color.
As I see you...and you know I *see* people differently than most as I have the ability to see auras. While I never met your mother, I can see an echo of her energy through this picture of her. What I see is the same silver/gold gossamer thread that I see in you. Perhaps that is the color of caring that you write about.
Teri, such a beautiful image. Thank you for contributing a perspective so meaningful itself, and so colorful. I won't forget that. I'm grateful for you and thank you for your comments on the rough draft of the piece several days ago. 💖
James, what a beautiful and moving dedication to your mother. I’m often astounded by how many quiet angels surround us each day—people who carry out the smallest and humblest acts with the greatest love. Your words capture that truth so powerfully. And ultimately, what better legacy could there be?
Rachel, Thank you for taking the time to comment and to offer the perfect metaphor - quiet angels surrounding us. It's funny, I carry around hundreds of little missives said by many people inside of me, and it wasn't until my mom passed that I connected Mother Theresa's words to my mom. Yet she was the perfect embodiment of them.
Quiet Angels indeed.
Thank you again.
This piece is certainly a gift to your mom and all who knew her James, a wise and profound seeing of the human who was your mother, but it's also a tutorial and inspiration for those of us who still have our parents about how to appreciate the time we have that remains with them. The parts that detail the specifics of caring moved me most. I'm sure there is no way I could possibly enumerate all the forms of caring and noticing that were exacted by my parents for my benefit from times I can't consciously recall, but when I feel the urge to care for others I know it's the caring I received that is reaching right through to further generations. As they say, it's impossible to repay the debt we owe our parents, but caring forward is probably the closest we can come.
Rick, I so appreciate you. You embody Mother Theresa AND Muhammad Ali, in that you do small things AND great things, with great love.
"a tutorial and inspiration for those of us who still have our parents about how to appreciate the time we have that remains with them." Thank you for calling this out. Because of my mom's slow glideslope with dementia over about fifteen years, we valued, and appreciated time with her, creating even more of it early on. And that's what we're all most grateful for.
And "carrying it forward is the closest we come" is the PERFECT embodiment of love and caring and honor for what our parents gave for us and did for us.
Thank you for taking the time to comment and being a hallmark of caring to soooo many, including your mom, and your family.
My pleasure and thank you James. As an additional note about your essay, I was struck by the skill and competency of your writing, especially knowing you've not had a lot of time as of late to exercise the word-craft habit. There's a natural authenticity, creative spark, and refreshing uniqueness to your voice that is a pleasure to experience James, and for the sake of one and all, I hope you continue to find opportunities to express it.
James,
Beautiful message that captures well a beautiful woman. Thanks for writing this and sharing it with us. I felt like I really got to know your Mom in just a five minute read. Much better than a standard obituary. This also helps explain you and the caring person and servant leader you are - your Mom and Dad surely live on in you and your family.
Oh Rich...where to start. I apprecaite the compliment and when I think of the servant leaders who inspire me, the first person I think of after my parents is you. The life we live is the lesson we teach and you personify that in loving and caring ways. I'm grateful we both care for each other as well as many many others. Big hugs to you and G.
What a beautiful and touching tribute. I know your mom's legacy of service lives on through you and your family. So much love to all of you.
Thank you Samia, I appreciate it. She's in a happy place now and she LOVED kids, so just perhaps she and Maisa have found each other. ❤
You wrote this with so much care, James. I pray that your mom is happy where she is. I think it's beautiful she can still touch lives like mine despite the distance, despite the timeline.
Linart - thank you. Mom was a heart toucher and I'm so glad she has reached around the world to touch yours, and that you took the time to tell me. I'm deeply appreciative.
Sorry to read of your mother's death, James. Thanks for sharing your tribute to her here. "Mom wasn’t her milestones. She was underneath them. She was between them." That's how I felt when my own mother died. At her funeral we read poetry, short anecdotes, shared memories of all the ways she had cared for people and for animals, all creatures great and small.
HI Wendy, thank you for taking the time to comment. I love reading how your mom cared for people and animals. My mom and dad took a lot of trips in their retirement. When they'd return from their adventures, dad would always talk about what they saw - and mom would always talk about the people they met. She couldn't "care" for a statue, she could "care" for a person. So she sought them out. Again, thank you.
James- What a beautiful tribute. You have, once again, shared wisdom with us in a meaningful, touching way. May your memories of your mother continue to bring you warmth in the years to come.
Jeff, thank you and thank you for taking the time to comment. My memories of her will indeed bring me warmth and I'm glad they can bring warmth to others as well. She gave us a great template from which to live life.
James,
So sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your memories with us.
John, thank you so much. I apprecaite it. I hope you are doing well and are having a good summer.
James,
I am so terribly sorry for the loss of your mother. This is such a poignant, loving tribute that I feel like I’ve known her for a long while.
In my mind, I’m giving her a big hug and saying thank you for taking care of your family so well and loving you all so deeply. She helped shape a truly kind and loving son in you. I can’t imagine she could be any more proud of you.
Deepest condolences. Thank you for sharing these stories. I feel honored to have witnessed these glimpses into her life and yours.
You asked for stories of our loved ones. My life changed the instant my mom took her last breath. It was one way before, and different ever since. It’s been over 7 years and I’m still adjusting.
I hope you’re surrounded by loved ones and that you give yourself the time and space you need to grieve. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” This is universal. It transcends any theology. You also will be comforted.
Sending much love to you and your family.
Oh, Kathy, how wonderful to see and hear from you. This: "It was one way before, and different ever since" says it all - and could be the title of a piece from you someday 😊
Yes, that's the way it is. I've thought of you many times recently as I have been - for several months now, working on the piece about my father. I've been writing and rewriting, and scrapping and putting it back together for months. A few weeks back I asked myself, why has this not come together yet? And then my mom passed and I had my answer - it wasn't time in the world for it yet - it would have been the second piece I'd written on dad, and none on my mom yet. She needed to be honored first. I so love discovering why things are the way they are when my logic and ego doesn't understand in the moment. ❤
I intend to get reconnected in the community soon - and thank you for always being there for me. I'm deeply grateful.
The more I get to know you the more it makes sense where your heart of gold comes from. I’m grateful for Brada and the lessons she continues to teach us all through you.
Jessica, Thank you for the compliment. I'm honored. As one of the other commenters (Rick) said, the best tribute to our parents is to continue it forward into the next generation. You are a role model for this as well. ❤. (Thank you also for your eyeballs and heart on the piece before I published it. ☺
James,
What an incredibly moving tribute to your mom. I always appreciate your vulnerability. She would be so proud.
I lost my mom two years ago and they sound so similar. Caring servant leaders. While I was unable to capture your depth and eloquence, your story reminded me of my LinkedIn post following my mom's service: https://www.linkedin.com/posts/scott-a-howard_my-mom-significantly-influenced-my-ability-activity-7097227380766740480-vV9H?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_android&rcm=ACoAAACeffcBGz9C519QfEO8rGlenvFbNz25ruA
I pray that we're able to carry on their legacy.
Take care,
Scott
Scott, What a lovely tribute to your mom. I might say, as a wanna be writer, your tribute captured the depth and eloquence with far fewer words which is a mighty challenge!
"I just want everyone to be loved." "and had enough love for everyone" So beautiful and touching. It wouldn't surprise me if our mom's have already found each other for morning coffee or a glass of wine. They are two peas in a pod for sure!
Thank you again for taking the time to reply.
James - you floored me with your feelings - beautiful.
Thank you for delivering this message of love.
With much love,
Jack
Jack, Great to see you name pop up in my inbox. Thank you for taking the time to tell me how my mom, and my words made you feel. That's the reason why I write. Much much love back to you. ❤
James
Beautiful James. You certainly carry that care forward. All the best to you and your family at this time.
Zoe, Thank you, I'm honored. Both my parents wore Caring as their crown, and I'm so fortunate to have had it modeled to me for 50+ years, not just as a child. My opportunity is to wear the crown and pass it along to others. 💖
I'm grateful we are in each others lives, and caring for each other.