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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Beautiful essay James, one of my favourite pieces you've written. I hope you're proud of the work you did here.

James Bailey's avatar

Thank you so much Tommy. I appreciate your hands on the clay at their critical time. I'm so glad we are in each other's lives.

Rick Lewis's avatar

It feels as though your writing itself has reached and renewed itself on a different stretch of shore James. Your writing has always been good but this seems like a new octave of voice from you. Were you aware of something different coming through? That you were channeling something so poetic? Or inspired by Mr Whyte perhaps into another form of expression?

James Bailey's avatar

Rick, thank you for the compliment. I so appreciate the observation. I went in February to Monterey and was likely influenced and inspired by David. At the same time, over the past three months as I've been writing this in fits and starts (in hotel rooms and bars in club volleyball cities, more than anything else I kept wanting to write what's inside me, and somehow capture the experience, rather than tell about what's happening and tell about the experience. But when I write it comes out as "telling about it" so I kept rewriting and rewriting, and cutting. So while I was crafting the piece about the topic, I kept pushing myself to write differently.

I don't know if that makes any sense, but that's the essence of why I think this one landed differently on the reader and felt different as a writer.

Several people have used poet or poetry - which I will claim to know nothing about. But I will say, it could also have been the influence of the waves on me. I the middle sections on the beach I could feel a rhythm in my writing coming through that was different. (And I noticed it and liked it).

Thanks as always for reading and offering your insights Rick.

Larry Urish's avatar

Agreed. This one is on a whole new level, which is saying something, given his previous work.

James Bailey's avatar

Larry - just saw this - you're kind. So great to connect with you yesterday morning! I look forward to the next time.

Larry Urish's avatar

Thank you, James. It was really nice connecting on Monday. (I'll stop typing for a minute.)

Okay, I'm back. I just added an "EMDR" post-it note to my desk, as a reminder to look into that. Your input is invaluable, my friend.

Bill Parsons's avatar

James, it's obvious how much you enjoy remembering your dad and it really adds to what you've written here, which I enjoyed very much.  Also, good to find that you're a David Whyte fan.  His "Consolations" sat on my nightstand within easy reach for several years and his very short essay on friendship (a mere four double-spaced pages) is one of the best things I've read anywhere; nearly every sentence is simple, revealing, and quotable.  I always look forward to a new On Money and Meaning and you have a gift for refining your thoughts to words in a way that makes it a pleasure to read. 

James Bailey's avatar

Bill, thank you 🙏. I appreciate you taking the time to comment and express what you did. Whyte’s Consolations book is at the top of the list of books I would take to a desert island. And the passage on Friendship I read at my father’s celebration of life. ❤️. I’m with you, it might be the most beautiful and insightful vignette of anything I’ve read.

I’m grateful for our forty year friendship Bill.

Rich Duncombe's avatar

James, thank you for bringing me into your world in such a personal and relatable way. Each section spoke to a different aspect of my experience. I need to take some time to explore this territory through your perspective. One of the many shining gifts you bring, no matter the time or place, is your perspective. Thank you, my friend.

James Bailey's avatar

Rich, thank you for being here and taking the time to read and for calling forth the name of my soul - "perspective" 🙏. I'm grateful for you. 😊

Bridget Godwin's avatar

Absolutely beautiful. I will read it again and again.

James Bailey's avatar

Bridget, thank you 🙏. I so appreciate you being here and taking the time to tell me.

(I can sit in the fog and eat a strawberry 🍓) 😊

Jessica Smith's avatar

James - your earnest reflection, and willingness to share it, is admirable. Thank you for the perspective this brings, no matter the season we are in. The evolution of life requires so much adjustment and I’m thankful to benefit from your insights.

How fascinating too that one thing that can never be “measured” or felt by you in the present moment, is the impact your waves had on others. But, that lives on by people, like me, and the world is forever a better place because of it.

“Live meaningfully.” I might add.. not just during the exciting times, or the first 60 years of life, but as long as you live. Especially when meaning looks different than it did before. Your ability to ponder and distill may just so happen to be one of your best qualities. :) Sending love, my dear friend.

James Bailey's avatar

Oh Jess, thank you so much for your loving thoughts back. This is so true... "not just during the exciting times, or the first 60 years of life, but as long as you live. Especially when meaning looks different than it did before.

And I'm glad my pondering has impact. While I'm doing it, it can feel like I'm spinning inside myself.

I'm grateful for you 😊.

Larry Urish's avatar

Brilliant work, James. Simply brilliant.

While "What we see is what we get" is such a trite cliche, you so eloquently remind us – especially folks with most of our Grand Paths snaking away in the rearview mirror – that reality is indeed mostly perception, that it's not about what we see, but how we're seeing it.

"Maybe my fog had never been about loss. Maybe it had come to slow me down long enough to hear what deeper waters were asking of me."

Then this:

"I arrived hoping my fog would lift. I left trusting its presence."

And I love the way you weave together the surf – "Gather. Rise. Break. Reach. Recede." – with the highlights of your life that follow; that's just wonderful wordsmithing.

James Bailey's avatar

Larry, I wholeheartedly agree - that our thoughts are tiny and minor compared to what we can tap into from a higher source. It’s our job to tune our listening so we can hear it amidst all the noise, and our own noisy thoughts!

Larry Urish's avatar

My own take: the harder I try to create from my own ego, the more the "signals" from Source are messed up. I've heard it said that "ego" stands for "easing God out."

James Bailey's avatar

Easing God Out. Wow hadn’t heard that before. Need to AGBI - Accelerate God Back In!

James Bailey's avatar

Larry, thank you so much for your thoughtful comments here. The whole "I arrived hoping my fog would lift. I left trusting its presence" was one of those lines that just comes through you when you're writing, and I had to capture it so quickly before it got smothered by a bunch of other stuff that ended up on the cutting room floor. It truly was one of those - it came through me moments and it captured the whole essence of what I needed to learn. :)

I'm grateful for you pal.

Larry Urish's avatar

Right back atcha, amigo.

I've heard it said that human consciousness may not be the source of our ideas; rather, we are receivers (like TVs) tapped into a Higher Source (the Cosmic Broadcaster). Our challenge is to note these "downloads" and either share them and/or use them for some sort of good.

That said, YOU are one helluva writer, spiritual downloads or otherwise.

Amba Gale's avatar

This astonishingly beautiful essay is one of the deepest gifts you have ever given to me. Poet: Thank you for sharing your heart, your soul, through language, through poetry, through art, through music. My heart is awakened through the words that come from your heart.

James Bailey's avatar

Amba, thank you thank you thank you for your heartfelt reply and comment here. You’re the poet, I’m not, and to be put in the same sentence as that word is an honor. I will say that with this piece and the influence of the waves, I kept rewriting and cutting and in the process I sort of found a rhythm to the prose. I’m not sure that’s anything like writing poetry and if it is, I touched it.

Also, if it weren’t for you and all of the aspects of who you are in my life, I might not know of David Whyte, my father might not have known, the Still Possible book wouldn’t have been on his end table, I wouldn’t have been at the retreat, and on and on…

So I would like to appreciate you right back. Thank you for the contribution you are to my life and the difference you make in all lives. 🙏❤️

Amba Gale's avatar

Thank you so much, James.

I've been dwelling on the "ripple effect" lately, as it has become so apparent in my life -- how our lives touch one another in ways we rarely know and almost never fully see.

Reading your note, I found myself reflecting on exactly what you described: David Whyte, your father, a book on an end table, a retreat, many conversations, a deep friendship.

None of us could have planned those connections, yet here they are.

Somehow, the web that joins us all feels more transparent to me these days. I find myself seeing more clearly how one life touches another, and then another, and another.

It's like Steve Jobs' reflection on connecting the dots through looking backward.

Thank you for being part of that mystery in my own life.

James Bailey's avatar

So important to see, Amba. And beautifully put. Thank you. 🙏

Drake Greene's avatar

I thought of the lyric by Leonard Cohen:

"Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack, in everything. That's how the light gets in."

Hard to experience the changes in life and even harder to share them with such eloquence and grace.

Thank you.

James Bailey's avatar

Drake. What a wonderful lyric. Thank you for sharing! And also for the compliment. I appreciate it. I trust you are well.

Sarah Bush's avatar

A beautiful reflection where the "answer" isn't clarity, but the beauty of continuity. Thank you.

James Bailey's avatar

Sarah, “the beauty of continuity” - such a wonderful way to put it. 😊. Thank you for taking the time to express it.

Darren's avatar

Mr. Bailey...this is some eloquent stuff. I admire your honesty and vulnerability. That takes courage. My therapist would call this a 'reframe' of the tough stuff life often presents. It gave me some moments of self reflection and I thank you for that. This is why writing matters. Be well James.

Darren's avatar

Mr. Bailey...this is some eloquent stuff and I admire your honesty and vulnerability. That takes courage! My therapist would call this a 'reframe' of the tough 'stuff' that life often presents. I found it quite relatable and I thank you for the moments of reflection it gave me. This is why writing matters. Be well James.

James Bailey's avatar

Hi Darren, thanks pal. Yes, when I said I arrived hoping my fog would lift, that was only after trying to wrest my way out of it by hopelessly running in different directions :)

A reframe is the perfect way to put it. Thanks for being here and for taking the time to share what landed on you. I appreciate it. 🙏

Michelle Brewer's avatar

James, who knew my fellow volleyball parent was such a thoughtful and deep soul. I feel I missed opportunities in those gyms to "pull the curtain back". We are always surprised to find a man, not a wizard pulling the levers and speaking identity, purpose, and heart. Thank you for your insight, wisdom, and transparency. Real and raw. I'm new to the platform but genuinely look forward to reading more.

James Bailey's avatar

Michelle, oh you’re so kind. We’ll just have to make it a point to find more time going forward. All those nights I wasn’t with you and Grace, I was trying to wrestle this missive to the ground. Not sure that was the right trade off though.

Seriously, thank you for the compliments. The help a fledgling writer like me pick up the pen again. ❤️

PS: forward to Grace if you think she might appreciate it too. 😊

Eric Cress's avatar

Wonderful, James. In the literal sense, your writing left me with wonder and contemplation that I'll carry with me into and over the weekend.

James Bailey's avatar

Thank you Eric. I appreciate you reading and letting me know how it landed on you. 🙏

Kent  Toland's avatar

Who knew you were such a fine writer and such a lyrical and poignant soul? Excellent prose old friend...

James Bailey's avatar

Thanks Kent. My 30 year old self had no idea any of this was in me. It's been a joyful discovery and maddening process at times to capture it and put it on paper. I miss you. I hope you are well.

Mary Ann Rollano RN's avatar

Beautifully written and remarkably insightful. I wish you well.

James Bailey's avatar

Mary Ann, thank you reading, and for your thoughtful reply. I so appreciate it. :)