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Jan L Smith's avatar

I so LOVE your writing James! I feel I am sitting beside you having a great conversation!!!

I'm inspired!!!!! =+10

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James Bailey's avatar

Thank you Jan! It’s a labor of love for sure. One of the things I love about writing is connecting with and receiving my muse. The “we were a school of fish in shoes” sentence was never in the piece until my muse served it up late in the process. I laughed - like I was having a conversation with someone else, and then I laughed again because I hadn’t yet found my title - and there it was - and it was perfect. Thank you again Jan.

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J.T. Murphy's avatar

This was my first time to read your writing. Marvelous!

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James Bailey's avatar

Thank you JT. I just subscribed to your Substack and look forward to reading you as well. I tend to write longer pieces and try and publish once every 4-6 weeks. I just published my most read piece this past Sunday. Take care.

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J.T. Murphy's avatar

Thanks for subscribing, James! I will look through your posts. I write a post daily as an exercise, for the discipline of looking for positives, and as a diary of sorts. I hope you enjoy some of my pieces! Peace.

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Bill Parsons's avatar

Good words, James, and very timely! This popped into my inbox in the middle of a just completed trip to Italy with my two adult daughters. I set this trip up with the idea of spending time with the kids and with exposing them to an older culture that's foundational in many ways to our own modern culture. As usual in a situation like that (a family vacation), there were deeper lessons just waiting to emerge. I went hoping to experience anew through their eyes the wonders of a more-or-less continuous 2000 year old culture, and I did that. But the deeper lesson was finding out how much more we can learn about trusting and serving each other, even while we're in close and continuous contact and being reminded of our many differences.

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James Bailey's avatar

Bill - such a great perspective - "But the deeper lesson was finding out how much more we can learn about trusting and serving each other, even while we're in close and continuous contact and being reminded of our many differences."

They say that people who are engaged should take a long trip because many challenges will show up, unexpectedly, and it will give them a change to see how they will be with, and serve one another, under duress. Your sharing about trusting and serving family members reminded me of that.

Thank you Bill.

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Amy's avatar

James,

Loved this! Connection is the breath of life. Love your writing and tears were flowing as I read about your group gently supporting Amy. People (like you) have ‘kept me going’ during times of struggle. The kids I work with have a chance to succeed because of our ‘team’ gently supporting them and their families every day. It is a privilege! Connection and belonging make a huge difference. ❣️

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James Bailey's avatar

Amy, thank you ❤️. We’ve kept each other going haven’t we. That’s the beauty in cultivating community. We are all in Amy’s shoes at times and the bigger learning might be to accept the help and service of others when it is our turn struggling. 💕

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Karena's avatar

This essay made me more than smile. It is a highlight of my day. You and I share an appreciation for the role of community in supporting each other today, and modeling that for our children into a virtual future.

And +10 on the quality of the writing!

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James Bailey's avatar

Hi Karena - YEA! I brought a smile to your face and lifted up your day! That's what you do for me, so I'm glad we are putting our energetic smiles out into the universe. Big hugs from the west!

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Justin Kamm's avatar

Beautiful, James! I have never been remotely interested in running a marathon but find myself actually thinking about it after reading your essay :-).

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James Bailey's avatar

Justin - Terrific! I would say this to anyone - not just you - I would sign up for a marathon group and use the group to train for a 1/2 marathon - and then figure out if you want to go further. I didn't know that when I signed up for the marathon. 1/2 marathons are so much easier and more reasonable for first-timers than the whole enchilada. :)

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Haley Brengartner's avatar

The title, the questions that this essay begin and end with, and the story telling were all such a treat. The descriptions of the newlyweds, the recently divorced, and Mr. Big were such fun, relatable and hilarious characters

I only wish I knew on the lonely mornings I pulled myself out of bed at 4 am to train for my first marathon alone that groups like this existed.

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James Bailey's avatar

Hi Haley - thank you - yes, it was an eclectic group and we struggled a lot, shared a lot and laughed a lot. I'm done marathoning. I might have one more 1/2 marathon in me :)

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Rich Duncombe's avatar

Thank you, James for bringing the power of community into what seems a personal endeavor. Even knowing that such a community exists goes a long way - I am not alone, I am not crazy. You brought me along on those training runs and left me with wanting another post on your race-day experience.

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Charlie Bleecker's avatar

James, this was so beautiful. The section with Amy made me tear up. I loved your descriptive storytelling.

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James Bailey's avatar

Thank you Charlie :) I can picture you telling me that in your Red earphones. Very appreciated 🙏

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Jack Dixon's avatar

Beautiful essay James! I got goosebumps reading the section where you all slowed down to match Amy's pace and refused to give up on her. As an avid exerciser and runner myself, this is a reminder and call to action for me find a community. Although I almost always exercise alone, the power I find in sharing challenging runs and workouts with others is immense (Tommy Dixon and I trained for a marathon together last summer). When I return home and settle into one place for a while, I want to make community a priority in my life -- and a running community might just be the best place to start.

(P.S. I might look to you for marathon training strategies in the months to come!)

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James Bailey's avatar

Jack - it was totally by chance the friend recommended it - turns out it was life-changing in many ways. It became less about the marathon we were training for and more about the training and companionship. In that sense, slowing down for Amy didn't feel like a sacrifice; it's just what you do for someone in need.

Thanks for reaching out and expressing your thoughts to me, and I'd be happy to offer insights in the future.

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James Pontrelli's avatar

Fantastic read!

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James Bailey's avatar

Hi Ponch. Thank you!!

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Chad Smith's avatar

"So often, I have gone to work on one thing, only to discover I am actually working on something different, to finally discover I am the one being worked on." Beautiful. I can so relate.

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James Bailey's avatar

Chad - thanks for the note - and isn’t it so true, about how life is working on us? Like all the time and we are barely aware.

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Chad Smith's avatar

Life always seems to be trying to get us to pay closer attention to LIFE

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Rick Lewis's avatar

Yes, it did make me smile James. What thoroughly enjoyable story. This hits all the notes of the kind of stories I love hearing. So well told on all fronts. And I love the way you gently offer up the lessons and meaning contained within it. Also I appreciated hearing about this part of your life that I'd never gleaned. You contain multitudes. : )

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James Bailey's avatar

Hi Rick, thank you, and back at you for activating these stories in me from several of our conversations. Glad that Dallas was such a good trip. I have not forgotten about my action item to connect you with someone in Boise. I loved your post back to Latham as well - deep insights I haven't had time to reply to.

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Rick Lewis's avatar

: ) keep those stories coming. You've got a real knack for telling them.

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

This is a lovely essay James - and so cool to hear your story. I trained for a marathon last summer and got up to a half marathon before an injury and a hiking trip derailed training.

Taking inspiration from this one.

Awesome work :)

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James Bailey's avatar

Tommy - thank you. I ran two more marathons and an ultra (50K) that ended up breaking me 😳. Thereafter I fell in love with 1/2 marathons. You can train up to them more quickly, your body is less likely to get injured, recovery is shorter, etc. And if you’re competitive with yourself and times, you can have different goals and try different tactics for a race. AND still have the camaraderie of training with others if you wish.

Just my two cents.

Thanks for your comment 🙏

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Tommy Dixon's avatar

Wowza that’s incredible.

I had a similar realization. If I was going to push past 21K I had to take training/stretching/recovery/hydration much more seriously and I just wasn’t there (hence the injury lol)

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James Bailey's avatar

Rich, thank you. Some of my fondest runs have been with you over the years - especially in the early morning darkness on the wet pavement while at our retreats. There’s probably a more meaningful post about some of those conversations than marathon race day :).

Happy Thanksgiving. I love you.

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Jen Vermet's avatar

This just brought my to tears. I have been in Amy's shoes so many times. To have someone beside you in those moments is so special. Thank you for this inspiring story James <3

I have never run a marathon before but if I do train for the Dec. 2024 one, I want it to be with a mini microcosm of life like you :)

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